Welcome back to The Remedy. I'm your host, Dr. Rani Whitfield, family physician, entrepreneur, dj, advocate for health equity. But today I'm coming to you as a brother, a brother speaking to other younger and older brothers and sisters about something that doesn't get talked about enough. June is Men's Health Month, and we're leaning into a conversation. We've got to normalize men's mental health, especially among black men. Let's talk numbers. First, men account for nearly 80% of all suicides in the United States. White men have the highest suicide rates overall, but rates among black and Hispanic men are rising faster than any other group. In fact, suicide is now the third leading cause of death for black men, ages 15 to 24. Let that sink in. Our young men are dying and many of them don't feel like they have any other way out. We hear that phrase a lot, suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem, but let me say this as clearly as I can. That statement is not just unhelpful, it's harmful. When someone is in that much pain, telling them that the pain is temporary doesn't feel like comfort, it feels like dismissal. We don't need cliches. We need compassion. We tell boys to man up, but we never teach them how to open up. Let's go deeper. Men die by suicide nearly four times more often than women, in part because of the methods used. Over 50% of male suicides involve firearms, and here's another truth. Suicide attempts among black adolescents rose by 73% between 1991 and 2017, the highest increase of any racial ethnic group. 59% of black LGBTQ+ youth seriously considered suicide in the past year, and yet only one in three men who struggle ever get professional help. Because we've been taught to tough it out, to suppress it, to power through it, to believe that suffering in silence is some twisted badge of honor. But we are not machines, we are men, and real strength is not hiding the pain, it's facing it. I'm honored today to welcome today's guest, Gary Chambers. You know him for his boldness; for calling out injustice with the same intensity he calls people to action. He's been on the front lines in the streets and the halls of power, and he's not afraid to speak truth even when it shakes the room. He made national headlines for lighting a Confederate flag on fire during the US Senate campaign ad. He used his voice, his presence, and his pain to amplify the needs of the overlooked, the underserved, and the unheard, especially in his hometown of Baton Rouge. But today we're not just talking to Gary, the activist. We're talking to Gary, the man, the father, the friend, the human being who carries the weight of being everyone's advocate, while still trying to make sense of it all. Gary has openly talked about experiencing suicidal thoughts, and I wanna pause here because that takes a different kind of bravery. When you're the person everyone looks to for answers, admitting you don't have them all, or that you've hit bottom, that's a powerful and liberating thing. But here's the truth, the pressure to be on at all times is real. When you're as visible and vocal as Gary, the world doesn't always give you room to rest. You're expected to show up even when you're running on empty. His motto, Do Good, Seek Justice is more than just a slogan, it's a mission, something that he lives by. But I often wonder who's seeking justice for Gary? Who's checking in on the ones doing the checking? I say, all to say I care about Gary. Not just the public figure, but the person, the little brother, the man I call G Money because he's always delivered when I needed him most. And I worry about him sometimes because I know what it looks like to be the strong one in the room. So today we're holding space for the full story, not just the headlines. We're unmasking the struggle behind the strength. We're talking about the mental health, masculinity, fatherhood, and activism, and everything in between. Gary, first of all, thank you for being here. You didn't have to share your story about mental health with everyone, so what made you do it, bro? Like why would you share that story with the world? For me, you know, I don't wear it as something that I'm ashamed of. I was actually having a conversation with a friend of mine. Just talking about life and happened to share that nugget in there as she recommended, she said, you know, he should talk about this and. I will, because people are going through things every day. I'm not a superhuman individual. I'm somebody just like everybody else who has to deal with the challenges of life. I have not always had the tools to manage that well. You know, not always had the emotional clarity in some of those times. Right. And so for somebody who has been impacted by suicide, you know, my mother died from suicide when I was two months old. And having that understanding. That people didn't really have these conversations. There was not a space for us to talk about these things, wanting to give somebody else the ability to hear that there are people you may think are super strong people that have been in some of the most challenging times of their life and not always made the wisest decisions in those moments. Just trying to really give people something that they could lean on to know that they're not by themselves. Yeah, their mask is on a lot. I think I've worn it before, actually. I have won before. I've done counseling in the past and tried to be that strong man, so I definitely understand that. Can you take us back to those moments? I think you were at 18 and 26 when you knew something wasn't right. What the, struggling with your mental health actually looking feel like at that age? Now looking back on that, how would you reflect on it? I just didn't see a reason to live anymore. Wow. You know, uh, I didn't believe that I wanted to live. Um, I remember. When I was 18, I rode past the church, my church. Mm-hmm. I looked at the sign and I told God that night, I said, I don't want to live, but if you have a plan for my life, let me live. Yes. Uh, and I did, and I had taken four bottles of pills that night. My uncle had a mental illness. I took some of his pills. I took Aleve. And I was just like, I'm a clock outta here. My cousin actually knocked on the door and he looked at me. He could tell something was wrong. Wow. Um, and he immediately got my parents. My parents took me to the hospital. My mom is a deeply spiritual woman. She prayed for me. But the things that really helped me were having a family around me that cared. Cared enough to tell me, we love you, we want you here. Mm-hmm. Um, and. Even with that, so that's 18 that I go through this moment, and then again at 26, I have another dark moment in my life that I don't know how to handle and I decide I don't want to live at this point. I have a daughter that is two, three, somewhere in that age, and I am so glad I did an FC, C. Wow. We all are, all of the things that I would've mixed up, you know, all of. The conversations, the experiences, the life nuggets, the ability to do some pretty consequential things in advocacy, none of that would've happened. If I clocked out here 26. Most people would not have ever known who I was, heard anything about. My advocacy, my work, my businesses would not have gotten off the ground to be where I am today. I'm just grateful that I failed that day. Yeah, yeah. That's a blessing, man. That's a powerful statement. I've been deep in dark, but I never. I've never been there before. One of the worst statements that I've ever heard, and I want you to comment on this, is that suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem. When you're that overwhelmed with something that you should hopeless for him to make that statement like, wow, how does that make me feel? Any that a medical professional would say that suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem, I would have to agree with it because the emotions you feel though they are. Extremely powerful. Mm-hmm. And sometimes you can't see on the other side of today. My grandmother gave me a quote in the hospital when I attempted suicide. She said, baby, keep going to sleep. And getting up in the morning, it gets better. If you keep going to sleep and getting up in the morning. The intensity of the emotions that you feel today will not be the same. Five days from now, they may not be the same five months from now. A whole lot of other things can happen in your life that will shift you from where you are when you're in that dark place. The thing to remember is no matter if someone died, no matter if you lost a job, no matter if someone told you they don't love you, no matter if people have walked away from you, there is a better day. Yes. There is a day that does not feel as heavy as this day. Mm-hmm. That does not mean you will not have days again, that are challenging. You will, but once you overcome certain things, you then know that you have the tolerance. Once you build that tolerance to be able to go in. Deal with more in life. If you go to the gym, the resistance of the weights gives you the ability to build strength, right? When you overcome these things, you build strength through overcoming the challenges you feel emotionally, and then you have the tools. I got help though spiritual conversations, mental health conversations, and people who were willing to check on me. I was willing to be honest with people about the things that I felt they were able to help me see. These are temporary situations. These may be circumstances that don't change. A death of someone you love is a circumstance that won't change, right? Some relationships ending are circumstances that may not change, but your emotions or your viewpoint on those things does not have to remain the same. I think that sometimes we get to a point where we feel like to hell with all of it because the weight of all of those things is just massive. You mentioned family a lot, and we talk about faith and family, but what were those real anchors that kept you grounded when those storms came? You know, my mother and my grandmother are probably the two people who were most instrumental in that time frame of my life. My godmother as well. And then my daddy, you know, he would just walk past the room sometime and just say, you all right. The ability of this black man to just check on him. Sometimes he would walk by and just say, I love you, son. That made me know, and you know, I have a complexity'cause I have two dad. And so I had one relationship that was at the time strained with my biological father at 18. And then my uncle who stepped into the role of a father was there giving me a level of compassion that I did not get from the other side. Those people helped, carried me through those things. And then. Getting a deeper understanding in my faith that even though some of these things happen, God has given me the fortitude to overcome that. I have the ability to dig into a deep place within and find answers that I didn't believe I have before, and trusting that these people around me are sincere when they tell me they really love me. Sometimes when you're in a challenge. You're not really hearing people, especially people who are really close to you, right? You think in your head, this is what they're supposed to say, right? You just telling me that'cause you're supposed to tell me this, you here'cause you're supposed to be here. But the reality is they don't have to be. They could do something else with that time, but they chose to tend to you to take that time to care for you. Believe people, when they say those things, and that random text, that random phone call that comes through when you going through it, it could be from you, it could be from cleaves. My mom, they just check in there, doc, you good ain't heard from me in a while. Sometimes little things can be life-changing from they could be at that moment, you know, at their end when they get that text message. Like, wait a minute, but just to stop you. So I'm trying to give flowers to everyone now. Uh, I've lost people and being in medicine here a weekly people all the time, I just visit one of my patients 105 years old. It was truly a blessing to spend time and talk to her about things. But you know, she even mentioned, I mentioned that I was gonna be doing this episode with you and I asked her about suicide. She said, growing up, this woman lived from 1914 until today, black folks didn't commit suicide back then. And if you did, it was a very unusual thing where now we're seeing increased rates, not just in our men and women, but are not young children. So we do need those regular check-ins. One of the things I think is a taboo in our community is therapy, especially with men thinking this is weakness. Was there therapy that you, that you got help? What do you think the benefits of therapy, why was it important for you and do you think that's something that we should be doing? Advocating more on community? I definitely think that therapy is a tool we should use. Yeah. I remember after the attempted suicide, I was going through something in my life and one of my mentors, a former pastor, has been through some challenges in life. When he had a political career. I called him one day and I said, I need to talk. I can't take it today. I'm in a bad space. I need to talk. And he called me. He said, meet me here. Meet me in my office. We met for an hour plus. I cried. I talked. I got it all out. He said. I'm gonna make myself available to you to do this for an hour. Okay. But it gave me a space to sit with someone who had the skills and tools to assist me, someone I could trust and talk to, to give me the skills to be successful. I've also done traditional therapy with therapists because I believe that everything can't be solved through, uh, a spiritual lens. That there are things that we need clinicians to give us advice on, to give us, uh, counsel on. Right. To give us tools and skills that we can work through. Those things have been helpful to me throughout my journey. I believe that you ought to, for me personally, I've had the struggle of, can I trust the people that I'm talking to, you know, with the fullness of who I am. And so that was a challenge for me, and I know that may be a challenge for some men to go into certain spaces. If you are struggling with an area that is too much of unpacked by yourself. It is not healthy for us to hold all of that in. It's not healthy for us to. Not exert the tears that we feel sometimes is me. That doesn't make us weak. It actually makes us strong to show that level of emotion. We put these burdens on ourselves a lot of times as men, that we gotta solve everything. Who fixes you when you broke us, right? And so you need somebody that can help you get the tools and skills. The reason I think that therapy is critical is there are skills and tools that you're not gonna get in a conversation with your homeboy. There are skills and tools that you're not gonna get in a conversation at the barbershop unless you're talking to a therapist or somebody who's gone through the process of going to therapy you in the barbershop, basically shooting the shit with a bunch of people who share the same perspective sometime as you. Yeah. And that doesn't necessarily help you to become. More successful in your relationships, and I think that's critical for all of us. We're going back to that therapy piece. Yeah. Spiritual counseling will, but sometimes you need that professional help. Someone that can give you some advice to manage and cope with depression, anxiety, even if it comes down to medication. And some people are adverse to, right? I don't need no pills, doctor. I ain't crazy. The first thing folks think, but you have to have all the tools in your toolbox to address these things. You know, doc, I wanna say that a lot of folks think that if I gotta take, and I've never had to. As an adult use medication, but if a therapist had recommended it to me, I would've been afraid of it. This doesn't have to be a permanent part of your life in many of those situations. Mm-hmm. This may be something that helps you in this period of your life. I really wanna say to brothers, if you are hearing this, don't be afraid of. The tools given to you are to help you be more successful. We just had an incident take place in our city where a brother had a mental health episode and ran over a police officer. Yep. My question in that scenario is, did this brother need medication? Did he get the support that he needed? Did he have the help that he needed, and what challenges did he face prior to that day that would lead him into such a horrible decision that day? And there's so many people, you may not harm yourself, but you may be harming other people, specifically brothers. If you are in relationships with women and you are at a point of being physical with them or harming them. Your mental and emotional stability is outta way, and you need to do something. You need to talk to people. You need to get you some help, because there should be no circumstance where you are becoming violent with the people in your life that you say you love, that you say you care about. A lot of times we don't know how to just directly realize, right? I may not know how to deal with my emotions when confronted with certain situations, matters of the heart. People who hurt us that we love deeply. But if you are at a point of being physically violent, it means that you are. Unable to control the emotions that you feel and able to communicate them in a way that is healthy rather than destructive. I would encourage brothers, if you feel like when somebody upsets you that you want to bust'em in they shit, you should reconsider going to have a conversation with somebody because the resolution for us as black men cannot become, when I'm angry, I become violent to solve these things. Nobody wants to be around you, and one day you're gonna be old, you'll be 70, 80 years old. Okay? Gonna want somebody to be there taking care of you. Yep. If you got dementia right, and ain't nobody gonna be one to take care of you if you were brutal. And I'm watching that literally doctor you, you're my parents physician, my physician. I'm literally watching. My father was not a perfect man, but he was not a, he never hit my mom in almost 60 years of marriage. My dad never hit my mom. He never did certain things. He's not a violent, a brutal man in any way. Now, he'll defend his family, but he was very much an even kill guy as a result. He's in his eighties and there's a woman who want to take care of him. And I see it every time loving him to the end of his journey. And that doesn't happen for men who beat the hell out their wi. That's right. Well, outside of them talking about you feeding, she loved that man to death. Me, that's been a blessing for you to share them with me, to be their physician. And thank you doc. Doc has been my doctor for over a decade. You're a bad patient, y you're a bad patient, and I'm not a great patient. I'm a good friend. I'm a wonderful friend, but I am grateful and I think it's so critical for us as black people to have a black physician because I've never had a problem that I couldn't come talk to you about. I remember when COVID happened and I was nervous about taking the vaccine. You told me, let's see what goes on with it. When it first dropped and you gave me the clear, when it was good for me to do it based on a host of variables that we discussed. When I was feeling like I couldn't get the answers that were going on with my parents at the doctor, you know, I was dealing with certain stuff. I was already calling you'cause you was my doctor. Yeah. And then I said, nah, I gotta switch my parents over. It's one of the best decisions that I made. Thank you. I want to thank you and somebody I appreciate got all that good education from me. I appreciate what you have been for, not just my family, but for the community as a medical professional. Because you know, when Rani Whitfield says something, we trust him. Because we know that this is a professional who is concerned about the people he sees you care for black people, white people, or people of racist. But I personally just believe in a society that is so often not cared for us the best, not being intentional with the care that we get, that it's important to have people who understand that from a personal perspective. Caring for us and our family. So thank you for all you do, brother. I didn't expect you to say that, but I just appreciate it. I don't have words here. Just thank you so much and thank you for trusting me with your health as well with your parents. Before we wrap, the leaders, the activists, the men on the front lines who are exhausted but don't feel like they have permission to rest, what do you say to them? Gary? I know a lot of these brothers, they grind, grind, grind, sleep is the new hustle. What do you say to these brothers about just the 24 7 grind? You know, I think that there are periods where it makes sense for us to grind, and then there are periods where we know that we got rest. You know, I, I have, I'm pedal to the metal type of guy with its own, but I also know how to take time to get away to reflect, because that's how you end up clicking out and crashing out too. Because you don't take the time to get away, and I find that when I have not, you know, taken the time to go get whatever respite I need, I might be a little more snappy, less patient in conversations and in the work that I do, I. You are gonna be criticized regardless, because I'm not dealing with rosy situations most days. I'm dealing with very intense and complicated situations. People are usually not excited when I walk in the room, so me being more agitated because I haven't gotten adequate rest or because I'm not doing the things that allow me to get a break away from this work. Means that I'm not functioning at the best when I'm doing this. No. Customizing each opportunity. I just did a song called Something's Gotta Give the Responsibilities and Pressure on Me and how eventually something's gotta give. This is either gonna be your mental health or you take a break, rest, refer, and come back. A hundred percent trouble. So something's gonna give my, my father used said pressure bus pipes. You put enough to keep continue putting pressure and pressure, pressure, something's going give. So that could be the aneurysm, the stroke, mental health breakdown, whatever it might be. So something is going to give if you don't take the time to take care of yourself. Well look, brother, you all over the country lately speaking, what's next for Gary Tam? I don't think that I'm gonna be on the ballot for a while. I get that question quite often. I am not focused on running. I am focused on educating our people more. The civics for the people courses that I've started, I'm kicking those off. In the fall at another level. I really feel like as we go into 2026 into some of these midterms, it's critical that people are aware of what's going on. It's critical that people understand what each person does in these different roles because sometimes people don't vote because they don't understand. The power that a role has over their life, right? I'm working on a couple other projects and just excited about the life I get to live being Zoe's dad. Well, brother, I appreciate your time. I know your business, so you take the time to give in here is powerful. We'll be sharing this with the world. This is one of these perpetual interviews. I'm sure folks are. Watch over and over again. Shout out to Gary Chamber, giving you flowers where you, where you stand, because I know you doing a lot in this community. You changed a lot. You've been very familiar. You, you wanted, because you always comes through just like your day. Well, thank you so much, brother. Thank you. I love you black, black women. Alright, you take care and we'll be in touch. Peace out lay. Amazing interview again. That was Gary Chambers, again, an amazing interview. That was Gary Chambers, unmasked, unfiltered, and un unforgettable. If you heard something today that made you pause, that made you feel seen, don't ignore it. Say something. Text or call 9 8 8. The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Open up to your friend, a counselor, a pastor. You don't have to explain everything. Just say, I'm not okay. That's a complete sentence, and that's enough. Look out for the brothers in your life. And as Royce the five nine said in one of my favorite songs, check on your strong friend. Warning signs don't always scream. Sometimes they whisper. So look for them signs like withdrawal. Irritability, substance abuse, reckless behavior, hopelessness, changes in sleep patterns or behavior. And when you do hear those whispers, listen without judgment, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is, I'm here. If you're looking for something to read, pick up Cry Like A Man by Jason Wilson. It's raw, it's real, and it's one of the most honest books on masculinity and mental health that I've ever read. And for the soundtrack to this journey. Kendrick Lamar, Mr. Morale and the big steppers. Start with Mother. I sober. It's not a track, it's therapy with a beat. And speaking of music, I've got something special on the way. My upcoming track, something's gotta give a personal tribute to men's mental health. It's the anthem that I needed and maybe the one that you do to two. I'll be taking a break from the podcast for a minute. During my six week time off, I'll be finishing the music video for something I gotta give and working on some powerful episodes that'll drop when I return. So stay locked in and before I go, let me leave you with something that I say to young th and before I go, let me leave you with something. I say to the young kings I work with all the time, they don't know you care until they know that you, and before I go, let me leave you with something. I say to Young Kings, I work with all the time. They don't care what you know until they know that you care. So lead with care, model healing and normalize help and never forget, we're born looking like our parents, but we die looking like our decisions. Make the decision to live, to feel, to heal, to keep going. Thank you again to our amazing guest, Mr. Gary Chambers. You're truly appreciated, brother. I'll see you all in six weeks with new episodes, new energy, new purpose. Until then, catch up on past episodes on Spotify, YouTube, apple podcast, or wherever you get your audio fixed. It's the Hip hop doc. They call me H 2D. Come on y'all. Let's get hip hop healthy. Until next time, stay strong. Peace and blessings. I'm out. That was Gary Chambers, unmasked, unfiltered, and unforgettable. If you heard something today that made you pause, that made you feel seen, don't ignore it. Say something. Text or call 9 8 8 the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Open up to a friend, a counselor, a pastor. You don't have to explain everything. Just say. I'm not okay. That's a complete sentence, and that's enough. Look out for the brothers in your life. And as Royce Da 5'9 hip hop artist said in one of my favorite tracks, check on your strong friend. Warning signs for suicide and depression don't always scream. Sometimes they whisper. So look for them. Listen for them. Signs like withdrawal, irritability, substance abuse, reckless behavior, hopelessness. Changes in sleep or appetite. And when you do hear those whispers, listen without judgment. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is, I'm here. If you're looking for something to read, pick up the book, Cry Like A Man by Jason Wilson. It's raw, it's real, and it's one of the most honest books on masculinity and mental health I've ever read. And for the soundtrack to this journey, Kendrick Lamar, Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers. Start with the song Mother I Sober. It's not just a track. It's therapy with a beat. And speaking of music, I've got something special coming your way. My upcoming song, Something's Gotta Give is a personal tribute to Men's Mental Health. It's the anthem I need it, and maybe the one you do too. I'll be taking a brief break from the podcast for a minute. During my six week time off, I'll be finishing the music video for Something's Gotta Give and working on some powerful episodes that I'll drop when I return. So please stay locked in. And before I go, let me leave you with something I say to the Young Kings I work with all the time. They don't care what you know until they know that you care. So lead with Care, model Healing, normalize help. And never forget. We're born looking like our parents, but we die looking like our decisions make the decision to live, to feel, to heal, and to keep going. Thank you again to our amazing guest, Mr. Gary Chambers. You are truly appreciated, brother. I'll see you in six weeks with new episodes, new energy, and new purpose. Until then, catch up on past episodes on Spotify, YouTube, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your audio fix. It's Tha Hip Hop Doc. They call me H 2D. Come on y'all, let's get hip hop healthy. Until next time, stay strong. Stay human. Peace and blessings. I'm out. The content on the Remedy with Dr. Rani Whitfield is for informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with your healthcare provider for personalized medical guidance. Dr. Rani Whitfield is a licensed family physician, but the information provided on this podcast should not replace professional medical consultation.